Started off pretty intensely. I got slimed with a really nasty, confusing, hopeless dream about screwing up in the workplace, involving someone in my seminar. It was so twisted that there was no way any of it was from God. It was a pathetic attempt to intimidate me, and apparently the last stand…
So I started the day off pretty well. This was such a tip-off that it was funny. Just started forgiving everyone and redeeming the dream.
Hide & Seek
The way some of the ministry times have been going lately, it is obvious to me that God is playing “hide & seek” with me. I deeply appreciate the sincerity and gifting of many who have prayed for me in the prophetic prayer times, however it is apparent that God is deliberately withholding revelation from many who are praying for me. It’s me, not them!
So it is fine, it means the breakthrough will come directly from God, or I suspect some of the little kids who are praying for us tomorrow. That usually happens. Huge implications right back at me as the leader of a prophetic team back home. I wonder how this expectation hinders us as a prayer team…
More on Expectation
I did come down here with a healthy expectation to receive a large amount of prophetic input on various situations. The fact that I bought a plane ticket and took off work for this can put a large expectation on the missions base and its people. If I don’t remind myself that the source is God, I’m in for disappointment and will slime these poor people here with my fleshy expectations. Imagine all the flaky people who didn’t get their ecstatic moment of bliss in the way they wanted. Now imagine the cumulative weight of this against people who are just trying to press in and bless people on the way.
One thing I realized this morning was that when I get offended I am tactful enough to minimize and discount it. This morning I realized that I just need to skip this step and acknowledge that I got my feelings hurt and repent of it. For some reason I really don’t want to fess up to admitting to hurt feelings. After doing this, I was able to really engage in the program, while yesterday I was really disconnected.
Ick. Didn’t think I would be in such a rough fight down here in IHOPland. I think I jumped the hurdle though, thank God.