OK, am I hitting the wall here?
A couple things hit me today –
1. I am under some self-imposed pressure or burden to do some effective prayer while I am here. I think that this is NOT a bad thing even though it is a “works” oriented pressure. I feel like there is a window for me to settle some things and I’m just enjoying the music instead.
2. When I decided to go for it and pace and pray for the issues (blessing my clients, praying for healing for various people including my Uncle), I realized that I was out of sync with the room. They were praying for a release for other HOPs and I was praying my checklist.
3. I am used to praying for anything I want to, anytime I want to, and it was bizarre to be constrained in this way. “Well just walk around the block and pray” you say, and that is certainly what I can do. I just never had that constraint before, even when I was building other HOPs.
4. It sure is easy down here to fast when everyone else is doing it. It is a completely different dynamic than what I am used to. The secrecy factor is missing. However I’m starting to reach new personal territory on this 4th day (I started early). This may be why I’m starting to get a bit antsy. Krusty the demon is around but not as empowered as he is in my natural environs.
5. Perhaps the mental weakness issue is more significant down here since everyone is scaling back for the fast and it is normal. “So why am I getting jacked around in the head?” Because this isn’t a walk in the park, even though the social dynamics/peer pressure makes it easier to enter. Everything seems fine, but I have been a bit irked from time to time.
6. Going deep vs. sanity. Which should I choose? Gotta think about preparing to re-enter the east coast Monday which requires a bit of physical strength.
Anyone care to validate or give their $.02 on this???